You’re Already Committed. Just Not to What You Think.
Say It and Mean It: What Commitment Really Looks Like
Mariah and Monique on why your calendar tells the truth, what quietly gets in the way, and how life reorganizes itself around the promises you keep
As summer gives way to fall, Mariah and Monique sit down with a topic that has been simmering between them for a while: commitment. Not goals, not wishes, and not the polite “I’m committed to my health” we all say without much thought. In this episode of Heart and Soul, they explore what it means to truly choose something, to let your life organize around that choice, and to hold steady even when every season around you is shifting. It is honest, funny, and a little bit convicting, especially once they start asking themselves the hard questions out loud.
Episode Highlights
What Is the Difference Between a Commitment and a Goal?
How to Do a Commitment Audit of Your Time and Money
Hidden Commitments That Hold You Back
Why Your Commitment to Yourself Should Come First
The Hidden Costs of Commitment
5 Questions to Evaluate Your Commitments
What Is the Difference Between a Commitment and a Goal?
Mariah and Monique describe commitment as an energetic shift rather than a plan of action. A goal maps out how you’ll get somewhere, but a commitment is a decision that causes your life to start rearranging itself in support of it. Monique offers a helpful reframe: “I want more money” is a hope, while “I’m open to receiving more and able to manage more” is something you can actually live out. Commitment, they agree, is what you have to make in order to get what you want.
How to Do a Commitment Audit of Your Time and Money
If someone looked at your calendar, your bank account, and your screen time, what would they say you’re committed to? That simple question becomes the backbone of the episode. Mariah points to marriage as one of the few commitments society still fully celebrates, noting how it comes with public declarations, legal paperwork, and financial investment that tether you to it. She wonders what might happen if we treated our health, our dreams, and our businesses with that same level of seriousness, and shares how a weightlifting practice she started two and a half years ago became so important that she dropped other obligations to protect it.
Hidden Commitments That Hold You Back
Sometimes we don’t follow through because we’re already committed to something else beneath the surface. Monique walks through a list of these quiet commitments that can run in the background like programs slowing down a computer:
Keeping everyone happy and never letting people down
Always being the responsible one who does it all
Staying safe and comfortable
Staying busy, proving yourself, or chasing perfection
Staying small so you never outshine anyone
Holding onto an old identity
Monique shares how her move from business coaching into spiritual coaching in her late 40s required her to “burn down” an old identity that had served her well. She also reminds listeners that being a person who always follows through isn’t enough on its own, because sometimes the commitments we’re keeping no longer align with where we want to go.
Why Your Commitment to Yourself Should Come First
During a season of burnout, Mariah’s therapist asked her to rank the parts of her life as if her house were on fire. Clients, kids, parents, and friends all made the list, but her husband never did. That moment revealed why her marriage was struggling and why she felt so depleted, and it led to a full reorganization of her life, including her move to Duluth. Both hosts land firmly on the same truth: the most important commitment you make is the one you make to yourself, and once that is clear, everything else can fall into its proper order.
The Hidden Costs of Commitment
Commitment always costs something, and the hosts are refreshingly honest about what that can look like. It may ask you to give up comfort, approval from others, your favorite excuses, or a bit of spontaneity when friends want to skip the workout and grab a drink. It may also mean letting go of relationships that no longer fit and the fantasy of keeping every option open. Mariah connects this to her work as a bridal stylist at Josephine’s Bridal, where she can tell that a bride isn’t ready to say yes to her dress until she lets go of the trillion other gowns she might still choose someday.
5 Questions to Evaluate Your Commitments
To close, Mariah and Monique walk each other through a commitment audit you can try for yourself. Mariah shares her dream of a beach house, her current focus on launching her daughters to college, and her new commitment to her health one day at a time. Monique realizes her calendar is full of coffee dates and “pick your brain” meetings that pull her away from growing her courses, and she commits to protecting her time without apology.
What do I say I want?
What am I actually committed to right now?
What am I currently committed to that I no longer want?
What would I have to release in order to commit to what I truly want?
What is one specific commitment I’m willing to make to myself today?
Notable Quotes
“The commitment is ultimately what you need to make in order to get what you might want.”
“What if you treated other things in your life with that kind of commitment?”
“We play the short game with our bodies.”
“I had to burn the old identity down.”
“What am I actually committed to that I no longer want?”
“You can’t make a commitment to something with one foot in the old paradigm.”
“Helping yourself is not selfish.”
“The selfless thing for me to do is protect my energy so that I can pour into the commitments that I’ve already made.”
“Make the commitment and the other pieces will fall into place.”
All Heart & Soul's Details:
Website: www.heartandsoulmastermind.com
Join the mastermind program: www.heartandsoulmastermind.com/heartsoul
Say hi to Mariah on Instagram: @mariahmckechnie
Say hi to Monique on Instagram: @moniqueforcier
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